Culture Mush

This economy is down the drain at this moment and most likely for many years to come. The cost of day to day living is skyrocketing and downright impossible for many Americans to keep up with. Retirement plans that have taken years to put together are being wiped out in a matter of days. Home values are a fraction of what they were a year ago with no hope of an upswing in sight. The cost of gas nullifies paychecks once commute is taken into consideration. If this isn’t depressing enough to be considered a depression, than I don’t know what is. However, it may be the the list of positives that is denying the current situation of that label!

• When taking a walk out to my mailbox and opening it up, I am jubilated to see the piles of credit card offers reduced to a lonely one or two per week. This sure beats the 6 or 7 a day I was getting. The only downside to this is that I may actually have to burn real firewood this winter, as opposed to my piles of credit card offers that I have collected throughout the year.
• You know that really big house you bought that definitely wasn’t in your budget…even if you died tomorrow and were still alive to collect your life insurance? Well now you’ll finally be able to enjoy it along with your 70 inch TV you charged to your 15% Credit card, the pool you installed with your now negative equity, the surround sound system that you purchased using your child’s college fund, and that granite countertop that you had installed with all of this year’s tax return. Why will you be able to enjoy this finally? Because your credit has dissolved and you now don’t have the cash to do much else.
• Rush hour in Vegas has always been a small version of constantly gridlocked Los Angeles. Since the gas prices have jumped, carpooling and public transportation usage has increased significantly. Thanks to this, I am able to get from point A to point B much faster, thanks to the opportunity for me to zigzag between cars that are actually moving, as opposed to standing still.
• Traveling to once heavily populated tourist areas is much cheaper once you plunk down heftier fees for plane travel. Hotels are throwing discounts around like crazy including free hotel stays, comped meals and even free activity vouchers. The flight might cost a few bucks extra, but you get to sleep for free in a room with an unwashed comforter, eat stale buffet food for free, and parasailing 300 feet in the air while a kid on summer break handles your safety might not cost you a dime…although if you’ve pissed the kid off, it might cost your life.
• If you live in a city like Vegas, join some hotel mailing lists. Upon joining, you’ll get almost daily offers for free (no strings attached) show tickets. Since people aren’t paying, they just need bodies in the seats to sell concessions. If you play your cards right, you’ll never have to pay for weekend entertainment again…at least for the next few years…and if you don’t mind watching shows every weekend featuring cheesy Vegas entertainers.
• Going to a car dealer and swinging a deal has never been easier. There was a time that lots were flooded with customers and they could work the angles in any way they see fit. Now the lots are just flooded with inventory, and the dealers have become the new doormats. Feel free to ram it to them good, as they have to you all throughout these years.
• Ritsy Titsy restaurants have smaller to no waits at all these days. If you need to impress that special lady (or just that special lady of the night), get your reservation in just minutes before and arrive to a non-existent wait aside from those that have walked up. Your date will think you are the man of the town and that she’s truly special, while you can laugh inside because that reservation was insanely easy to make just moments before arrival.
• Now that credit card offers are dwindling and endless credit lines are dissolving, keeping up with the Jones’ has never been easier. As long as you have been smart with spending, have budgeted wisely and picked up extra avenues of income, you should be riding the wave just fine while the Jones’ set a goal to keep up with you. Just be sure to stay out of the way of those insane repossession crews with mace and guns, as they cart their boat off. If you decide to watch, be sure to wear that bulletproof vest and goggles, because bullets may fly and mace may spray.
• If this whole situation really has thrown you in a depression, have no fear! The neighborhood bars are throwing out drink specials like everyday is the Superbowl, and you can now get tanked on a few bucks! To make it even better, nobody can afford to drive anymore, so you’re transportation is now public and you can avoid getting that DUI!

As they say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I still don’t know who “they” really is, but “they” do exist. Keep your head up and these tough times will pass. While they are here though, you might as well focus on the positives to keep you from falling into a personal depression.